That Christmas was arguably the worst of my life. I was back to smoking with a vengeance, and drinking too. I also would cry for no apparent reason at odd times. This was also the time that I chose to start a new job.
The only thing that got me through was my gummy bear. I met him through work, which was an NGO that often engaged people who were marginalized. He was a native man, who exuded charisma, homeless, toothless, and had a history of violence and substance abuse. Not the kind of person who you want to meet mom and dad.
Gummy got arrested sometime in October or November, and had to stay in jail while waiting for trial. They refused to grant him bail because he had a history of not really following the conditions of his parole. Personally I believe that he just needed a roof over his head for the coldest part of the winter.
Apparently making phone calls is the best way to spend time in jail, and he called me a lot. We would talk about almost everything, from TV we were watching, books we had read, recovery and addictions, family quarrels, you name it... Gummy Bear was also the only person that I would talk to about how miserable I was. In fact, he was the first person to call me (really, he's pretty much the only person that ever calls me, as most people know by now that I despise using the phone) after McPokey and I went out separate ways. I can't tell you how many times he patiently listened to me cry.
Gummy got me through that Christmas. After Christmas things seemed to magically get better somehow. On New Years I managed to quit smoking, this time for good.
I still talk to Gummy, but since he got out (he took his case to the Supreme Court, and won) he went back to his old ways.
How lucky for me I get to spend time walking the dogs with you. You are, after all, my dog's fairy Dogmother and a good friend. Funny how we go out on these trails and don't always know where we are, we have a sense of the place and know landmarks, and somehow we find our way back together. That's what good friends are all about.
ReplyDeleteApologies I did not know how you were feeling at Christmas. You have had a tough year, but look at all you have accomplished!
Your writing is original, humourous and heartfelt. You need to write that play.
Harmeny Daniel